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Autobiography Chapter 11: No One Can Threaten Tse Ting Fung

31 December 1995

I am very happy that I have done a lot of hard work. At last I have changed the outsiders' impression of me. The audience are gradually accepting me, agreeing with me. Of course my music dream has not yet been fully fulfilled nevertheless the audiences' changed perception of me will let me have an even bigger push to go and continue my music trip.

Always from start to now I have had to bear various kinds of pressure. Some from outsiders and some from myself. Mainly it is work plus the pressure caused by the media. My work record is very thin and also I am short of real experience. A lot of times when things go wrong, I might not handle it well.

Facing the media, I feel like I am an animal in an iron cage. They make something out of nothing, like the incident of the car crash. I obviously didn't have a license, how did I have a car crash? They are all invented! I am not exaggerating, from me being out for two years, the media has already help me rumoured 16 girlfriends in total. The audience can easily be influenced by the media and believe it is real. Any minute there might need to be rumoured 200 girlfriends before they will see through the lie. They say I have interests towards Angelica Lee, insisting that I used my visual line to flirt with her. In fact at that time I wasn't looking at her.

Apart from the pressure from work, I also feel very big pressures in terms of financially. If it wasn't for financial problems, I might not have come out to work so early, also I would'nt have to work non-stop. If I was still studying now, I think I might go to America to study music. Learn about popular songs and orchestral music arrangement.

In fact my passion for music was already cultivated out in studying. In the past I played the clarinet for two years. But I liked stringed instruments even more and I hoped I could have a chance to further study them later. Of course I have to see if the economy would allow me. Other people in the past always concluded I was a rich family's child. I believe that everyone now knows this matter did not exist. Actually I never dared to squander money. Even if I recently bought a guitar, I had to sell all the sets of my watches, only then did I have enough money to buy it. But it's not appropriate for me to explain too much, they think I am rich so let them talk. Anyway there will be a day when they will finally discover that actually I am not like that. Even though I can understand that earning money is very hard, but I am absolutely not a person who longs for illegally gaining money. I would rather earnestly earn money.