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Autobiography Chapter 14: My Rumoured Girlfriend And I Have Already Gotten Married
31 December 1995I don't know why I have so many rumours and bad publicity. This is the most saddest thing I feel I've come across in the entertainment circle. It makes it very hard on me. Even though everyone has their own spots where it's hard on them, but working in our industry, the toughest is that no one understands and forgives you, that's not only physical toughtness, it makes me very doubtful of whether all my own hard work doing all this at last is it worth it or not.
From when I entered the business I've been thinking about this question. Especially when I filmed the TV drama I thought about it particularly more. Until only in recent years I put down this big piece of rock in my heart. That's why I think the days I spent in Canada were a period of thinking things over. The days could be so peaceful and quiet that they make me scratch my head, so that I wrote "Cry At The End Of A Century". These lyrics I wrote for two months in total. In these days of reflecting, I could think how I want to think. I'm no longer trapped in annoyance and I have a lot of freedom and relaxation.
I can tell everyone right here, in fact all the girls that have been rumoured to be my girlfriend have already gotten married to me. Bondy and me have even adopted children in Florida, Wong Pui Haa and I have had children in Pakistan, Angelica Lee and I have also adopted one in Pakistan, Nicola and I have had a blue cherry in Macua. We are in the middle of getting mildewed. Gigi Fu, Shirley and I have had a goat on the snowy mountain, Grace Yip and I had a "small room hammer". Well? Enough?
One time they say I am with this one, another time they say I have a crush on that one. Forget about it! I want to say, feelings to me are a kind of pressure, because it taught me to feel unable to control myself. Being a artist, if we go together we will definitely be followed, even if both sides are willing, but when the media go to the point of being so immoral that they even the other person's parents become targets for reports, is there still meaning in the relationship? I'm a person who doesn't like to do things secretly. This kind of environment and climate makes me fall in love with someone but I don't dare to pursue her. Even if the other person is an outsider to the circle I still don't dare to express my love.
Loving someone is looking after each other. Including in spirit, in living. I am by no means a attentive person. Sometimes I feel that I can't even look after myself that's why I don't have the right to go love someone.